Wednesday, December 4, 2019

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND FRIENDS AS AN OLDER ADULT WHEN YOU MOVE?

and I add "fit" into an established community/coworkers!   

Speaking from experience, I can say that moving from coast to coast is more difficult for older adults, making friends takes emotional, and sometimes physical effort, as I have aged, making those efforts became harder to pull off.  

It is important to know friends can always be made, just be one!

As I prepare to move away from my home of 14+ years,  I take with me valuable lessons.  I had more than a difficult time "fitting in" when I came to Virginia, this was not the case for the first year I lived in Maryland, my new friendships flourished, I thrived, I was happy.  Moving & living in Virginia brought me to my lowest point of unhappiness ever in my life, I survived, learned and grew.





Lessons I learned on how to find new friends:  

1. Make the First Move.
  • Don’t be shy. Take the initiative and introduce yourself to your new neighbors right after you move in.
2. Just Say Yes.
  • Say yes to any and all invitations and opportunities in your new city. 
3.  Volunteer in your community. 
     *best thing I did, met many a wonderful gal pal!
  • Seek and search out how you can help your community, work in a food bank, find a senior in a nursing home, read to children, become a big sister or brother.
4.  My Tips 
  • Don't expect all to fall in line immediately, the 'right' person will show up!
  • Join an online group such as "Meetup" - https://www.meetup.com (you will find in App store)  I found some groups that hike and go out for group functions, even have a yoga meet up!
A Nancy Story: 

When I was recovering from my knee surgery, I was advised to take an aqua swim class, my first day in the pool, I was so excited and encouraged, as I was standing at the end of the pool, this older lady came up to me and told me I was in 'her' spot, I look around, and my first thought was "really" Grandma Gangster, this is a public pool! 

Without saying anything, I did move over, the Gangster Grandma Group later that morning did invite me to the hot tub and lunch after our swim, I fielded a few questions from the Gangsters. (lol)   I still see them from time to time.

My Gangster moment at one time would have crushed my feelings and lowered my spirits, but in my dealings with mean co-workers and a hateful community and the unwelcomeness (like I never ever had experienced), I knew now this was not about "me"  or anything I did or not do, it was all about their low self-esteem, short mindedness, rude and inconsiderate behavior.  

Just prepare yourself and know that not everyone is going to like you, don't deter, be yourself, be true to yourself.